So the other day in a conversation I was acknowledged for my courage. Here is the thing, I don’t particularly think of myself as having courage. I just live my life very inside out. I care less about what people think of me and more about if I am growing.
But as I have continued to reflect on this courage thing, I have come to lots of subtle awarenesses.
Courage needs fear as its counter point. I don’t have that much fear (side effect of cancer, after cancer, there is so little else to fear). So my fearlessness doesn’t feel like courage to me. Just fearlessness.
And this, the thorough reflection about my experiences, feels less like fearlessness and more like my deep commitment to personal development. I want to learn and grow as much as I can in this lifetime.
I have already done the heavy lifting part of the growth (a couple decades worth) … getting out from under the wreckage of my past, so now it is all discovery. And delight at the discovery. Even when there is pain or discomfort. I try to lean in as fully as I can.
All of this ties to not worrying about what people think, too. Their judgement is about them … a reflection of them and their anxieties. And so fleeting.
My soul is forever. I want to shepard it properly, to advance it as much as I can. Full focus on growing and learning is a part of that. Worrying what others thinks slows it. I don’t want to just pass the grade (like in school) I want to learn everything I possibly can before I move onto the next level.
So for me the word might more truly be … faithful.
I am full of faith.
And that is why I know that: Faith is not leaping from A to B. Faith is leaping from A.
Where do you need to take the leap?