I have recently emerged from a short, but impactful romantic relationship… and as we approach Valentine’s Day, I want to share what I learned from it.
First off I got to see, by being IN a relationship (and I assert it is not something you can notice when you are outside of a relationship), how much I have grown in this area. I have more equanimity, don’t take things as personally, am more resilient. I am clearer about what I want, who I am, what works for me and what I won’t tolerate. I am better at expressing myself, all of me, the good, the bad, the ugly. It’s pretty sweet!
I still lose myself a bit. And maybe that is just a part of the deal, in fact maybe that is part of the fun. As it turns out my world view is that relationships are a path to the soul. Through loving another person, we love ourselves, and we connect/reconnect/connect-more-deeply with our own divinity. I have always been wildly moved by the line from Les Miserable: “To love another person is to see the face of God” (in fact I weep whenever I hear it…am crying now). Love, especially romantic love, is a way we learn more about ourselves, we file off the rough edges of our personality, and we awaken to what is possible. What could be better?
Kindness wins out over boundaries. I can’t help it. I keep thinking that I should be able to be better at just having hard and fast boundaries. “These are the rules, deal with them”. But I am not that person. For better or for worse. Kindness always wins. Assuming the best of a person always wins. Seeing their goodness and wanting them to live into it… it’s who I am. And so if I get a little hurt, bruised, even broken in that process, that’s okay with me. Not just because I have more resilience, but because it builds more resilience. And I know this kind of runs counter to “brand” – the ass-kicking, take no prisoners, fierce Signy Wilson. But the truth is … the more I lean into the power of the feminine… the more I see the healing power of kindness and gentleness. Many of you have heard me say… Our heartlessness is killing us, our businesses and the world. Well I believe that kindness is the way back to our hearts.
Just this last week in the Signyficant Living Webinar series that I teach we were talking about Principle #4 – Epic Love, and I was reminded that Self Love is the starting place of all other forms of love. We need to love ourselves in order to be able to love anyone or anything else. And that Epic Love is a 360 degree experience. That it is a state of being, an action, an attitude, an experience, as well as our very make up. We are Love. We are, all of us, Love. The job is to come back home to it. To ourselves. To that truth. To choose Love! Each and every time.
So back to …as we approach Valentine’s Day… whether you are in a relationship, or single, or somewhere in between, on this day that we have decided to represent LOVE in our culture – choose Love, in the form of Epic Love, in the form of Epic Self Love. Choose to treat yourself with kindness and gentleness and compassion. Choose to honour, love and cherish YOURSELF! And if other love comes, great, let it in, but don’t forget that the core of love, the most important love, is the love you show yourself, every day, day in and day out. That is where change happens!
Ok, over to you:
How will you choose Epic Love for yourself this Valentine’s Day and onwards? Please share in the comments below!