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For the next leg of my trip, I decided to go to Seville because my friend, Joanne, was living there. Probably the biggest highlight of this portion of my trip was that this was a new experience for me. I had never been to Spain, which just seems CRAZY to me because it’s right there and it’s FANTASTIC!
Here are some more of my highlights and lessons learned from Seville, Spain:Read More >>>
Ok, let’s be honest. France wasn’t really a rest stop. But it was the catalyst for my month of exploration and rejuvenation, because I was asked to give a keynote for Capgemini. And of course I said yes!
The location and the event space itself was beautiful. And it’s only one of the things that blew me away about Capgemini … that they’ve created this amazing learning space for people. Talk about a commitment to doing things differently and calling people forth to the next level of leadership! I felt very privileged and honoured to be invited to do this speech and to get to speak to their high-potential leaders.
Some of you may know that I recently took a break to travel to Europe. Since my Dad passed away last year I’ve had a really difficult time working my way through my grief. One of the goals I set after he died was to travel more. And I realized that it’s been about 10 years or more since I really took a proper rest. Needless to say I was SO excited when my work presented an opportunity for me to travel to France and deliver a keynote session for Capgemini.
Of course I had to say yes! And I had to make the most of the opportunity. So I blocked off my calendar for an entire month (yes, really!), left my laptop at home (GASP!) and set off.
As we move from American Thanksgiving into December and holiday time, let’s talk about the legacy of family traditions. This is dear to my heart right now because a year ago, this last weekend, I found out that my father only had 3 months left to live. And my first reaction … well actually my second reaction … was to drive hard into the family traditions of Christmas … to make that Christmas special, memorable, sacred, and precious. Not just for my father, because we knew it was his last, but for all of us, because it’s one we will remember forever.
So some of us aren’t very in tune with how we’re feeling in a particular moment. Enter my solution… the joy-o-meter! (Don’t worry you already have one…you just might not know it!)
The joy-o-meter is a whimsical way I use to gauge how joyful I am in the moment or around a particular situation, and it’s also a great way to use joy as a decision-making tool. Every situation requires joy (or a bit of ), so the joy-o-meter can show you what activities to pursue, which people to spend time with, and which careers to choose.
Is your joy-o-meter working for you? 
To get using your own joy-o-meter, first notice what are your indicators that you are closer to or further from joy? For me it is all in my voice. If I sound alive, excited, engaged, then my joy-o-meter is running high. If I am sunken, heavy, slow in my speech, if I think I have to do something or it is a “good idea”, then my joy-o-meter is low.
When my joy-o-meter is low, I take it as an indicator that it’s time to re-think that activity or choice. Or I consider that it’s time to change my attitude or perspective about that thing.
Sometimes, it takes a little bit of a snap to get the joy-o-meter back into working order. Use these questions to help you do that:
Maybe you’re going to the same place for your date night or even ordering the same food. At work you might be doing the same tasks and never volunteering for the interesting, exciting, or a little bit scary tasks.
Your self-respect? Excitement? Spontaneity? New possibilities?
Hint: These are the things that make your heart pound, your eyes twinkle, or put a smile on your face. You know that you’re stretching yourself and you feel anticipation when you’re doing these activities.
Check out . Are you more aware, or tuned in to yourself and your environment? Maybe you’re feeling a buzz, an excitement, an anticipation?
Maybe it’s a matter of saying no to the stuff that doesn’t work. Or maybe it’s time to get your joy-o-meter tuned up so you know what’s joyful!
When has your joy-o-meter served you? What do you plan to do to trust it more often? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.
In the process of writing the joy posts for this month I was looking through my old Team Signý blog from my early days as a cancer survivor. I came across this post on joy dated February 1st, 2006 and well, it’s relevant as ever today! So here’s a little blast from the blogging past for ya…
The day I went to see the surgeon, I also had an appointment with my Physiotherapist. She is really more of an energy healer than at PT, but that is why I like her so much! So naturally, she has a few things to weight in on about health issues.
Not a surprise to either of us, she reported that I don’t have anything that feels anything like cancer. Ok, good. So, what else? She said she saw it like a “Do over”. You know, what ever the things that I had managed to forget, that apparently were really important for me to remember, I get to go back and start again, wipe the slate clean and really get it, at an even deeper level this time. Cool! We never did “Do overs” when I was a kid.
So what was this really important thing that I forgot, I wondered. Causing poor Bev (PT) to stand there with her mouth hanging open. “You need to stop, you need to stop, you need to stop doing the things you are doing!!! You know the things that are sucking the life out of you! WAKE UP! Where have you been?” (yes, she really does talk to me like that, God I love people that aren’t intimidated by me).
“Oh yeah, that. OH YEAH, THAT! Oh my god, how do I stop, how do I learn to stop, how do I know when to stop”, I said, hitting my panic botton at the same time. “I know what you mean, there is a line, a line I cross, but I don’t know what the line is, I don’t know how to recognize it. HOW WILL I RECOGNIZE IT!!!!” (now you can see why is it so important for me to feel my feelings regularly, otherwise they get channeled into unhealthy expressions).
She didn’t need to slap me across the face, all she did was, in a quiet little voice, a bit like a 5 year old’s, say “joy”. What do you mean? (now more loudly and forcefully) “Joy.” “Joy, that’s the line you can’t cross.”. Now it was my turn, mouth open, eyes incredulous. Joy, yes, yes it is joy. I totally got it. It all made sense. When I choose people pleasing over joy, when I choose good ideas, or strategic plans, or doing it right or expectations of others or ought to’s over joy, over fun, over my heart, over what makes me happy and sing and dance (which, by the way, brings me joy – that is some help I need, take me dancing!!!). When I do that, it doesn’t work! What doesn’t work? My life doesn’t work, my whole life, I shrivel up, I forget who Signý is, I stop seeing myself as precious and important. No, no, no. From now on… NO MORE.
Now, how do I actually live that? Well, we shall see, and I shall keep you updated. But so far so good.
Fast forward to now. Joy may well be part of the gift I’m bringing to the world, but that doesn’t mean it comes easily in every situation. I choose joy and it’s a choice I make every day.
When have you been reminded to choose joy? What was that process like for you? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.
Joy is such a precious gift. And to me summertime is just filled with joy. Everyone is out, having fun and really enjoying themselves and the beautiful sunshine. I introduced the idea of fun leading into joy with my new word – foy. But we still need to do some more investigating…what is joy, really?
For me, joy can be seen in that childlike sense of wonder and curiosity, the delight we see on a child’s face (on their good days), and their overflowing enthusiasm when they get excited about something. A happy child is joy incarnate. Children are filled to the brim with it. It is their default position.
Think about it, we don’t wait patiently, coaxing out a baby’s frown. No, we are waiting for their smile and their laugh, because that is what comes first. Not just to some babies, but to all babies, and not just to some human beings, but all human beings. Joy is our birthright, our natural state.
Joy is like an exaltation—an interesting combination of gratitude, awe and happiness. But it’s beyond happiness.
Happiness says, “Wow, I have so many of the things I want. Life is good.”
Joy says, “Life is spectacular!”
Joy is about revelling in the absolute assuredness and certainty that everything is exactly the way it’s meant to be (even when something is a bit off, it is about finding the rightness in it – more on that next week).
The experience of joy is unique to each of us—from what brings us joy, to what qualities it encompasses to how we recognize it in ourselves or others. Yet there seem to be some common elements:
But over time we seem to migrate away from joy. Why?!? There seems to be a bit of a myth in society that we have to work hard. Therefore, if something comes to us easily, it must not have value. More and more I’m realizing that when we are in our natural state (of JOY!), life is easier.
There’s a cost to not living from a place of joy. The cost is that we get ourselves stuck in a non-flow place. We’re actually slowed down in our lives. It’s just like putting an obstacle in front of an oak tree that is trying to grow. It will most likely still be able to grow, but it’s going to be slower as it negotiates its way around the object.
Joy is about being fully yourself and fully expressed. Don’t let life drown out the joy. Find ways this summer to bring joy back into your life.
What does joy feel like for you? What are you doing to keep joy in your life? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.
Last week was my birthday. As you probably gathered from my last post I LOVE to celebrate my birthday! So much so that I don’t just to a birth-day. I do a minimum of a birth-week or a birth-month and ideally the fun will continue on for the whole summer!
Why? Well, fun is one of the easiest paths to joy. It is slightly tricky to put my finger on a precise definition of joy (although I took a crack at in my forthcoming book – Participation is Mandatory). But fun is different. Fun is the way you get to joy. Doing fun things gets you to that joyful place.
Fun is the vehicle that gets us to the north star of joy.
In fact, I use these two words, fun and joy, together so often that I invented my own word: Foy!
Fun + Joy = Foy!
Even during this hard time, this first birthday without my dad, I still have a choice to choose be connected to my friends and what’s fun for me.
As a result, my birthday itself was fantastic! I loved being surrounded by good friends, having amazing conversations, getting to be the center of a attention (yes, its true that’s what I love), having room for spontaneity, and maintaining a deep connection to my core self. All bringing me so much foy!
As we continue through Leo season, take time this summer to experience some foy for yourself!
What are some things that bring you foy? What are you doing to ensure you experience fun this summer? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.
