So, on a whim, and because I believe in accountability and because I love my clients… on June 2nd one of my clients and I committed to each other that we would pray and meditate every day in June.
For those of you who know me well… well let’s just say I have never been able to pull of that kind of long term (don’t scoff, for me a month is long term) meditation. Not even during my radiation treatment, which is the life style change I took on during radiation (changed diet with surgery, exercise with chemo… and meditation with radiation). It just doesn’t happen for me. I don’t like meditating (all that sitting still makes me itchy, and yes I have tried walking meditation, it is better suited to me for sure), it doesn’t come naturally, even when I get all those promised rewards I still weave and bob to try to get away when that time of day arrives.
Yup – I’m a meditation-phobe.
One of the reasons for that, by the way, is that when I really do get into it, when I open my mind and my heart and get silent and wait, well what happens is I get flooded, no let me correct that, I get FLOODED, with ideas. Ideas not of my own making. Ideas channelling in. Ideas run amok in my brain. And while many folks might think that sounds delightful, for me it is overwhelming. Super overwhelming. Because I feel somewhat obliged to do something with all of those ideas. That’s right with EVERY SINGLE ONE of those ideas. Needless to say I come off of those meditations absolutely exhausted. And feeling like I am about to have to climb a mountain every day between now and when I collapse from the exhaustion of completing that kind of task overload.
It isn’t fun. And you know me, if it isn’t fun I am not totally convinced that it should be done (unless you can make it fun, which might be my challenge for June).
Now some of you might say I am meditating wrong. And of course that is very possible (both that I am meditating wrong, and that many of you might feel the need to pipe up and tell me so). But I am such a strong stand for the perspective that we all need to find the way in the world that is right FOR US. And that includes meditation. So I am not for having to do it a pre-determined way, following specific rules, or subscribing to a certain “brand” of meditation. I am simply not a “I am the way, the truth and the light” kind of gal. There is not just one way, there are as many ways (to do anything) as there are people out there… so I do want to find my own way, the way that works best for me, the way that is fun, and even though it might take longer to do that, even though there might be struggle and effort involved – because my #1 value is To Thine Own Self Be True, it just has to happen that way.
So during this next month, as I dabble and explore to find my own way of meditating … I would love to hear your thoughts, what has worked for you and what you most get out of meditation (so as to keep me inspired along the way).
So please do share (even after I made that cheeky comment about piping up).