So I am back from vacation (which was really a staycation of sorts, so maybe that is part of the pain), and it has been a bit of a rude awakening.
I, as probably so many before me, have been thrust into the burning inferno of all of those things I didn’t have to do during vacation, like:
- my mountainous and unyielding inbox
- scheduling and REscheduling
- fitting everything
- prioritizing what other people want over my own passions and projects
- the list goes on.
I am now paying for the bliss of not having to deal with them for a while. And it hurts.
Part of the discomfort might be about getting back onto the tread mill, and the rhythm and pace now unfamiliar to me, and using muscles I haven’t used for a bit. Just getting acclimatized. BUT, and it is a big BUT in case that wasn’t obvious from the capitals, I am wondering about something else… if there is a chance… just maybe… that it might be a different issue. That being that this state of affairs, this treadmill I have stepped back onto, this rhythm of everything happens fast, unable to keep up or catch up being the norm, being out of breath and out of options most of the day, if this is somehow … WRONG.
We get so used to it. The busy, the overwhelmed, the rush, rush, rush. It becomes normal. Just the way it is. Everyone is struggling with it, so why should I be any different. But coming back to it, after time away, and doing what I want when I want, following my whims, having fun, making happiness a priority – well perhaps this discomfort is showing me that something is not quite right here. Like the proverbial frog in boiling water, I think we become desensitized, almost to the point of it having gone too far. We accept the yoke of an impossible schedule, being stretched too thin, 20 “priorities” (defeats the very purpose of the word, right?), and overcommitting as okay.
Okay? Hardly. Monday, my first real day back, I was in tears, gasping for air and wondering how I have ever succeeded in this environment before. Now me being me I used the phone a friend lifeline and got supported to make some more empowering choices, and that worked, but not before leaving me with the distinct impression that something’s gotta give. And I don’t just mean for me.
Overall we have to change, to do something about this epidemic of a too tight schedule. The number of people I coach on this topic… just now got off a call with someone wrestling the same dragon. I kept waiting for him to come up with the magic wand solution that might fix my life too, but alas, it is not that simple. Because it is not about a changed behaviour, it is instead about a changed perspective, and changed way of BE-ing, and then the discipline to keep choosing that new way of seeing things and that new way of life, day after day after day. And who likes that. Dealing with the mountain sometimes feels easier… and so we keeping falling in the same hole, doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.
For things to change, first I must change!
If you are finding yourself in that same place I was finding myself…what different, life affirming choices are you going to make today? What will you change, so that you can live a richer, fuller life of greater meaning?