This weekend, while teaching a coach training program in Calgary, I got tag team coached by the participants. Getting coached in front of the room is always powerful. It needs to be real, and yet it also needs to be big. And it has to be especially so for this course, the last in the series. So I have to dip into what is current in my life, where I am struggling, really struggling, and focus on something that, if coached effectively could result in a powerful breakthrough for me.
Yikes, what was I getting myself into.
So I coached on a topic that is not just important to me, and dear to my heart, but also vulnerable and significant. It highlighted a number of things for me – where I am holding back in my life, how I try to keep my vulnerability at bay, and what it is costing me. Where it all intersected – and therefore where the homework got focused – is to risk rejection, in fact to find the way to transmute the fear of rejection and even the experience of it, by making it a game.
I will be vulnerably making requests, expressing desires and longings, and speaking my unedited truth as much as possible. And the way it becomes a game? I need to gather 50 No’s. 50 of them. Which isn’t going to be quick, or easy. There will be vulnerable on top of vulnerable to get this done – but imagine what it will be like to experience the power of the win-win. If I get a yes to my request – well YAY, how great is that. And if I get a no to my request – just as good, because now I have one more in my count of No’s. One step closer to my goal. I love games like that, with how they change the playing field.
And me, being me, I have already gotten my first NO. And yes, it smarts (mostly because I make it have meaning, I make up a story about it), but once I get anesthetized to it, imagine how my life will be different – I will be not just comfortable with NO, but someone who can celebrate it. Now that will be life changing…