The theme this month is resilience. Resiliency is that elasticity that allows us to bounce back after a trying time. By experiencing our emotions more intensely, we have the ability to recover faster.
After reading that last post, you may have found yourself thinking, “If I’m working through the emotions of every problem that comes my way, I won’t have time for anything else!” Fair enough! (Not to mention that it would be exhausting!)
Choose wisely. Pick the things that will make the most difference.
Choose to deal with the big things and let the small ones go.
Issues with long-term serious implications are almost always worth fighting for. (For great examples of these read this post.) If it’s a spat over whose turn it is to take out the garbage, is it really going to have serious or long-term implications? Likely not, so in a case like this find a way to let it go.
We’ve all had the experience of, “OK, I can put that aside,” but in actual fact it keeps nagging at us only to end up coming out sideways somewhere else. Not good. For you or anyone else.
Choosing is all about being conscious. Don’t simply act. Choose in the moment to not listen to your saboteur. Choose in the moment to believe you can bounce back. I’ve seen people be taken out for years by big loses and I believe that somewhere in there their saboteurs are hijacking them. Choosing is that place of being conscious and intentional. A good way of getting back to this is to weigh the costs with the benefits of working through the issue. Is the teeter-totter leaning one-way or the other? If the costs are high, it’s likely not worth your time.
Over time, themes will emerge. You’ll find that some problems continually recur, no matter how much you let them go. This is another way to tell if something is bigger and requiring your attention. In these times, we need to work through the internal dialogue of, “I’m bugged by that same thing X, Y and Z and I’m the common denominator. What change do I need to make?”
Okay over to you:
What strategies do you use to choose your battles? How do you ensure you really let something go? What are some of the themes that continually recur in your life? I’d love to hear from you! Leave a comment below.
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