What’s the difference you want to make in the world? It’s time you find your stand!
Posts Tagged: Vulnerability
Gratitude Sunday
It’s Gratitude Sunday! What are you grateful for this Sunday? Here’s my list…
To see more about what Gratitude Sunday is, check out my original blog post. If you’d like to see more of my past Gratitude Sundays, you can see Thanksgiving Gratitude Sunday, October 14th, October 21st, and October 28th.
Gratitude Sunday
It’s Gratitude Sunday! What are you grateful for this Sunday? Here’s my list…
To see more about what Gratitude Sunday is, check out my original blog post. If you’d like to see more of my past Gratitude Sundays, you can see Thanksgiving Gratitude Sunday, October 14th, and October 21st.
Thanksgiving’s Gratitude Sunday
It’s Gratitude Sunday! Being that it’s Thanksgiving for us in Canada, I’m sure you have lots to be grateful for. Here’s my list…
What are you grateful for this glorious Sunday?
To see more about what Gratitude Sunday is, check out my original blog post.
Killing me with Kindness
As part of reporting in on some homework (for Fundamentals in Vancouver early Sept) I am pleased to announce that I have gone on my dates, and, naturally, learned a lot about myself, what I do, what I feel, what holds me back, how to overcome that… and I promised to share, so here goes.
I seem to hold back on expressing my full authentic (the big, dynamic, vivacious, sexy, sensual, playful, direct, vulnerable, tender, mischievous) self for one of two reasons.
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Wanting MORE
Ok, just got some painful feedback, not that receiving it was painful, but the truth of it is painful.
This related to my last post.
I don’t want enough, either often enough or grandly enough. Or maybe “desire” is a better word. But either way I don’t put myself out enough, don’t ask for what is in my heart enough. Somewhere along the road I decided that wanting less would make me more desirable. Would make me easier (because let’s face it, I wasn’t that easy in my youth). It is one of the ways that I play small and try to chop off my toes and my heels to fit into the Cinderella shoes.
IT WAS A LIE!!! And worse than that… it was a lie that I told myself.
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Belonging vs. Fitting In
I know that all my blogs seem to be related to Brene Brown’s book The Gifts of Imperfection, but I gotta tell you, it is because the book is gold!! Every page, every chapter – new magical discoveries or confirmation of what I know in my heart to be true. Why fight that, really?
And so, without further ado… the topic of fitting in vs. belonging.
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The Obstacle is the Path
I have a core wound that centres around being afraid to be Wrong. Not in the small sense of the word, like getting something wrong, or doing something wrong (I do that all the time, and it doesn’t even hurt) – but actually being Wrong, fundamentally, as a human being. A fear that I am defective, that I am never quite good enough – and that I need to work hard to try to be not wrong, or fix the wrongness in me or something equally ridiculous and unreasonable. That is the thing about core wounds, right, they aren’t rational, and can’t be reasoned away. Rather they are like ghosts that haunt us and hunt us, in our weak moments when it is harder to see the truth that we are all divine in our imperfection, including me.
Recently my Wrong Wound has been triggered. “If only I did that one thing differently, if only I did it right, then everything would work out the way I want it to.” As I said: haunted and hunted. The bright lights and fancy footwork of it gets my attention, the lie is hidden behind the big curtain, just like in the Wizard of Oz. Needless to say it has been triggered by me speaking my truth, not withholding what is there to say and being powerfully honest. As I have said before, this is not a comfortable place, which is why I am being triggered into my ouchy spots, the ones I usually try to hide from the light.
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Vulnerability Homework
Vancouver Process – here is me checking in as promised on my learning…
I have had a hard time being vulnerable. Really exposing myself, presenting all of me, all the time, being transparent. It stands out enough for me that I have started to dig deeper on this whole concept of Vulnerability. What stands in my way? Where do I hold back? Why do I hold back? What can I do about it, at a core, fundamental level, not a ‘do it for 1 week’ level?
The dark underbelly is not pretty.
But it is real, and in sharing the real I grow, and in fact I also believe that others get to grow and be inspired along with me. So here I am, bringing it to the page. Again.
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