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3 Areas to Look for Connection

It’s interesting because when I think about our lives in terms of connection, there seems to be a common (mis)understanding that connection happens to us. Like it’s something that is somehow externally created or driven. We make the assumption that because someone grows up in a close-knit community, connection (at least with that community) is easy. Connection is easy, like they learned how to do it, and they already have their connections, all sewn up. Or if they have a close-knit family, same thing… connection is easy. If they attended the same school for a long time, connection is easy. And if you don’t have any of those structures, connection is hard, if not impossible for you…

But we don’t realize how much connection is a choice and that we actually have to make ourselves open to it! (Yes, this is the ‘Choose Connection’ post, how did you guess?!?)

connect

When I look at choosing connection it is about opening our hearts, and that can be hard and scary for people, especially if they’ve been hurt (in love relationships, in friendships, or by people who were supposed to be trustworthy). Connection is still a choice, even for them. Sure, there is a likely a first step of mending their heart, but it’s such a worthy step!

Connection is a choice! Read More >>>

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My Strategies for Being Powerfully Connected

This month’s theme is …connected. While I know that connected means different things for different people, for me it means being connected to everything: my higher power, myself, my own inner truth and voice, my community, my dear friends, my family (in particular my father, who recently passed), the planet and ideally, one day connected with my partner. (Not because I’m not connected with him currently, but because I don’t have one!).

Recently, I’ve been re-reading The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s all about refocusing ourselves to orient our yearning or experience towards a feeling, rather than a goal that is outside of us. Connected is my most Core Desired Feeling.

The experience of connected is one where I feel a sense of oneness. Where I don’t notice the separation between me and the ‘outside’ (whether outside is the earth, my higher power or someone else). I feel gratitude and inner-peace. My heart feels open to anything and everything and I fully trust how things are unfolding. I buzz with joy and bliss! It’s pretty freaking sweet!

The value in being connected might be self-evident, but when I remember that I’m one with everything my world opens up and I become of true service. Read More >>>

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Be Bold! (Despite the Backlash)

This question was sent to me a little while ago, and because it refers to so much of what I’ve battled with and what I’m constantly speaking about, I though it would be helpful to share my response with all of you!

Here’s the question that I was sent:

I’m finding lately that I’m doing a lot of second guessing about things I say during coaching and also during regular conversations with friends pretty much all the time!!!

It happens usually after I call something out and it makes the other person(s) uncomfortable…. I notice the shift in them (or the group) and then I beat myself up. I think this is saboteur as usually I’m saying it to be real and really either wanting to shake things up or talk about the elephant in the room, but I feel badly afterwards. One side of me says, “You need to say it more gently, pose it in a question, have them discover it for themselves.” The other side of me says, “Come on! What the hell is going on here? Get real!”

Is this something similar to your experience? If so, I think what I need to help me here is figure out how to let it go. If I know I’m doing it in service of the client, why can’t I shake it? I think it’s because I’m also feeling selfish afterwards because I know it serves me too?

First of all, yes this is similar to my experience! I thought that my being bold was hurting people or scaring people. The thing is, that when I was only half-bold, when I said what I needed to say but with apology in my voice, it actually made things messier and they required more cleanup. When I finally got to letting myself say the bold and direct things cleanly (without feeling awkward about it) that’s when they started really having an impact.

Take Back Your Life: Wrap-Up

This month, these stories… just WOW! The inspiration has been never ending!

First and foremost, I need to say THANK YOU to all of these wonderful people that truly reached within themselves and shared their stories. Their honesty, their humour and their frank reality checks have been so valuable for us all!

The range of stories shared has been incredible. From people choosing more time for family, to taking their life back for the sake of health, to experimenting with unique career choices or leaving undesirable relationships. ALL of the stories have had so many compelling take-aways and mirror so closely what is going on for the rest of us. So to those of you that shared, THANK YOU, a million times THANK YOU!

I’ve complied all of their stories here for easy reference. As I look down at this page I’m so overcome by the strength of these beautiful faces and the power of their words. If you haven’t already, I hope you take the time to read though their stories. Trust me, it is definitely worth it!
Read More >>>

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Take Back Your Life: Carey Baker

Carey is a self-described spiritual gangster. Think life long entrepreneur and former business exec meets soul-seeking Co-Active Coach. Truth is her trademark, love is her come from and inspiring is her way.

With an extensive background as sales and marketing executive and co-founder of her own company, Carey’s professional journey has included working across several industries helping both small and large companies innovate, transform and grow. All the work she is up to these days comes from her fierce commitment to create space for the next generation of leaders to emerge. www.careybbaker.com

What events led up to you deciding to take back your life?

What event didn’t lead me to “taking back my life”? That is to say that in retrospect it seems as though my entire life lead me to choosing aliveness over surviving.

The accumulation of my life events had me measuring my life and work in direct correlation to my ability to capitalize on everything. Any choice I made, any dreams I had, anything I wanted seemed to have a price tag. And so I prioritized the things that made me money. My strategy: get a job, climb the corporate ladder, acquire fancy titles, cash big paychecks and make even bigger sacrifices. My relationship to my world became one big transaction. On a good day, I sidestepped what was most important to me, most of the time I just stepped on it. By the time I was 29 I had worked for the man, lead a turn-around for a Silicon Valley company and launched and almost sold my own company.

I had a career on the fast track and piles of money in my bank account…and I felt totally bankrupt.
Read More >>>

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Dr. Kenneth Charles Wilson

Seeing it there, in it’s entirety, makes me both proud and very, very sad. I loved my father, so much, so deeply and so abidingly. Not just the kind of love that a small, wide eyed girl has for her daddy, but the kind a grown woman feels for a father who has unconditionally loved and supported her for all of her life. I am talking the deep emotional connection that goes beyond blood ties and shared experiences. He is a part of me, and as such, a part of me has died.

Because just over two weeks ago, on May 14th at 11:14 pm, he died.

He was in excruciating pain at the end, so in many ways it was a blessing. But that doesn’t make my heart hurt less, or my tears flow less generously. He died less than 6 hours after I had arrived in Victoria to spend this weekend with him and try to bring him comfort. Knowing that he waited for me, in spite of all that pain, so that I could be there when he died, so we could see each other one last time, and he could grin his mischievous grin at me one last time, and twinkle his knowing-eyed look at me one last time … it makes those last few hours that much more poignant, precious and rich.Read More >>>

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Take Back Your Life: Shoshana Allice

Shoshana is an international coach, speaker, author, leadership specialist, yoga teacher and dance facilitator. What connects all of these is her focus on the wisdom of the body as the foundation for how we show up in the world.

Shoshana has worked with social entrepreneurs, youth, executives, teachers and holistic professionals to connect with and embody their personal leadership. She has designed and delivered leadership programs; facilitated embodied movement; coached, mentored, and advised leaders at all levels of organizations. She has learned that leadership is inseparable from the body.

Shoshana is an ICF Certified Coach, with a Masters Degree in Human Systems Intervention and certifications in Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, Somatic Yoga and Dance. www.shoshanaallice.com

What events led up to you deciding to take back your life?

I’ve taken back my life a few times. In this crazy fast-paced world, we are constantly changing and growing and faced with new opportunities and changing circumstances. I believe it’s a continuous process of claiming and reclaiming our story, our power, and our life. So I’m going to share two significant events – because they are reflective of how truly ‘taking a leap’ on ourselves can look so powerfully different at different times in our lives.
Read More >>>

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Take Back Your Life: Diane Rolston

Diane Rolston left the life of the 9-5 employee and simultaneously became an entrepreneur and mother. She considers herself an expert in work/life balance, prioritizing, and getting things done! As a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach (CPCC), she serves women who face obstacles and gives them tools to jump forward, providing them with clarity, confidence, and manageable steps to get them into action.

Through Diane’s coaching, Keynotes, workshops and her ‘DynamicWomenInAction.com’ community, she continues to empower individuals, expand their mindset and encourages each one of them to find ‘Clarity, Confidence and take Action’. Diane’s clients say, “She’s a positive person who constantly challenges your limits and helps you keep growing”. www.dianerolston.com

What events led up to you deciding to take back your life?

After leaving my job, I was happily running my own coaching and workshop business. By doing the work I love combined with the freedom of choice every day, I felt that I had already taken back my life.

At the same time, I had also become a new mother. It was an amazing time. Everyone was impressed that I was still ‘able to do it all’. Publicly, I continued to do a great job. Privately, it was another matter. Life became overwhelming.

I had too much to do and no time. My expectations of myself were too high! I was trying to be perfect; a successful business owner, a supermom. I was failing.
Read More >>>

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Take Back Your Life: Dawn Nickel

Dawn is an accomplished and versatile leader with strong interpersonal skills and over twenty years of professional and business experience. Dawn created the Facebook page She Recovers in 2011 to reach out to other women wanting to recover their lives and their potential. Building on her degrees in women’s studies, women’s history and a PhD in health care policy, Dawn completed recovery coach training with Crossroads Recovery Coaching in September 2013. In addition to operating a full-time health and social policy research consultancy, Dawn has been running She Recovers Retreats since 2012. In Dawn’s view, we are all recovering from something and – we’re stronger together. www.sherecovers.co

What events led up to you deciding to take back your life?

I’ve taken back my life at a few crucial points. Most recently – in fall of 2011 I came to the hard realization that I had become a raging workaholic. Having conquered alcohol and drug addiction in my late twenties it was a shock to realize that I was once again addicted, but this time to a process (work) rather than substances. Like a regular alcoholic or addict – my health was declining, my relationships were suffering and I was in complete denial about how out of hand things were getting. I was “sneaking” work in the middle of the night by going into the spare room with my tablet and working – under the covers. It was pretty insane.
Read More >>>

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Take Back Your Life: Sean Aiken

Sean Aiken is the creator of The One Week Job Project, an inspiring journey across North America in which he worked 52 jobs in 52 weeks to find his passion.

After having graduated from Capilano University with a Business Administration degree, top of his class with a 4.0 GPA and Class Valedictorian, Aiken struggled with the direction his life should take. This inspired his website and journey and ultimately his book, The One Week Job Project, which was published in 2010 by Penguin Group Canada and Random House USA.

He frequently speaks to students and companies about what he learned from his experience and has developed an international program to empower others to discover their passion by taking on a series of “one week jobs”. www.oneweekjob.com

What events led up to you deciding to take back your life?

I was struggling with the question, “What should I do with my life?” I felt depressed, lacking direction, and the societal pressure to choose something that would be seen as successful.
Read More >>>