Signý Unleashed

Vulnerability Homework

Vancouver Process – here is me checking in as promised on my learning…

I have had a hard time being vulnerable. Really exposing myself, presenting all of me, all the time, being transparent. It stands out enough for me that I have started to dig deeper on this whole concept of Vulnerability. What stands in my way? Where do I hold back? Why do I hold back? What can I do about it, at a core, fundamental level, not a ‘do it for 1 week’ level?

The dark underbelly is not pretty.

But it is real, and in sharing the real I grow, and in fact I also believe that others get to grow and be inspired along with me. So here I am, bringing it to the page. Again.
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Today, Today, Today is My Birthday!

I know it happens once a year and all, but still, I get very excited. Each and every year on July 29. And it never gets old, even as I get older. So yes… Today. Today. Today is my birthday!!

Celebration – I am a big fan. I don’t think we do it enough, ever. We get so busy with the “what’s next”, with the trajectory and the treadmill. We skip the moment. And we especially skip celebration. Imagine how the world would be different if we all took the time to see what was great and say so, to enjoy things as they happened and to really bask in our own joys and successes (see in my world living another year is a success)! Ahh it almost boggles the mind. And yet what a difference it would make. Picture children raised in a world like that. And by that I don’t mean our current world where they are all told they are special but treated exactly the same way, that is some kind of weird perversion that is creating a tidal wave of entitlement and assumption. I am talking about where we see what is unique and special about a person and honour it, really honour it and celebrate it.
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What’s Your Signy Moment?

I am currently leading Process in Vancouver with Joni Mar, and three fabulous assistants: Mary Crayston Fulber, Catharine Chu Chang and, Kristina Katayama Bass.

As we were debriefing at the end of the day we got to chatting about pivotal moments in the coach training process for people, and Mary said – “Oh yeah, I remember my Signy moment, it was when…”, then Catharine chimed in “oh mine was when…”. It got me to thinking.
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It’s My Charity Birthday and I’ll Donate if I Want to

Well it might be hard for those of you who know me well to believe what I am about to do… I am going to donate my birthday. Yes I said it. And I mean it. Kind of.

Having just be to the World Domination Summit and seen one of the main speakers Scott Harrison speak about the charity he created to help bring clean water to Africa I got inspired to contribute, in my own small way. And one of the great initiatives that Charity Water has come up with is the “donate your birthday” campaign. Which I LOVE, because I love my birthday and I love celebrating life and I love contributing and doing good. So imagine – a way to do all of those things at once. And imagine celebrating my life, by providing the means to have life giving water brought to people in need in Africa. What could be better?
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WDS OMG

Well that just about says it all. But in case you need more…

This last weekend I went to the World Domination Summit, yes that is right, the World Domination Summit. Sounds more dangerous than it is (at least that is what I told the border guards) – in fact the only really dangerous thing about it is that it is about changing the world, to one of: giving back; making a difference; being our true, fully expressed, authentic selves and living full out. Which when you think about our world today might actually be considered dangerous because it really is a slap in the face of the status quo.
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The Power of Real Communication

I didn’t know I was holding my breath, until I stopped.

Just had a significant conversation. Significant in that it revealed to me just how much I had been sitting on my hands, driving with the breaks on, not being fully expressed, fabulous me (btw – that is not just straight arrogance – I feel we are all fabulous selves, just waiting for that full expression). The conversation didn’t change my circumstances any, just changed how I feel about them.
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Protecting Them/Protecting Me

Ok that is it – I am busting myself!!!!!!!!!!!

I protect people. Which shouldn’t be a bad thing, but it is. It has become a bad thing. It has become a way that I stay small, and I hold others small and I limit all of our growth. YUCK.
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Vulnerability and YES

What does vulnerability have to do with YES? Everything.

As I have been stepping more into the vulnerability – asking for what is important to me, but doing so from the place of surrender, knowing that I could get a No, even to my dreams… I am getting more yeses. Hmmm. Go figure. To me I always assumed that the more vulnerable, and exposed I was, the weaker I was and the more likely I was to get taken advantage of, treated like a doormat, and generally misused and abused. Power and strength were the only things that could keep me safe.
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Not all No’s are Created Equal

First thing I am noticing, during my little “No” experiment… not all nos are created equal. Or maybe more to the point, not all expressions of desire/requests are the same. They carry different weight, depending on a number of things. And in fact there are certain themes in what holds me back from expressing a desire or making a request.

If I want something really badly, if I am aching for it to happen… well, you guessed it, even if I can manage to ask it with a tone that SOUNDS neutral, it just isn’t. My attachment is apparent, somehow. And since it is not requested freely, since there isn’t actually much room for “no”, even if the no is completely legitimate, it impacts me. I get irritable, or sad, or whatever. I interpret why there is a no. I make meaning of the no. Long and short of it – it gets all messy inside my head, and I usually need someone to go in there and pull me out. Not fun for them or me, and especially not fun for the (relatively) innocent bystander who received the request. The core fear behind this is that I am don’t want to get rejected, because it just means so darn much to me. Which, obviously, is a set up.
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The “50 No” Challenge

This weekend, while teaching a coach training program in Calgary, I got tag team coached by the participants. Getting coached in front of the room is always powerful. It needs to be real, and yet it also needs to be big. And it has to be especially so for this course, the last in the series. So I have to dip into what is current in my life, where I am struggling, really struggling, and focus on something that, if coached effectively could result in a powerful breakthrough for me.

Yikes, what was I getting myself into.
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